LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

A function space full of wedding guests let out a collective shudder last night as cousin of the bride Eric Kier (24) caught the garter.

As society continues to demand gender equality, the archaic wedding tradition of the ‘bouquet toss’ continues to be balanced out by the exceedingly popular and exceptionally seedy ‘garter toss.’

The ‘garter toss’ involves unmarried male wedding guests being rounded up and forced to attempt to catch a piece of cloth that has been around the bride’s thigh all day who is now presumably the wife of their friend or family member.

Seen by many as ‘just a bit of fun’ the harsh reality of what could go wrong during the tradition was realised for all the attendees as the hand that received the stocking fastener was that of the bride’s own flesh and blood.

“Aw…yuck,” murmured everyone who realised what had just happened.

“I guess Eric is the next one to…God that’s gross.”

Following the inadvertently incestuous experience, the wedding party failed to reach the same highs as before with many guests choosing to leave before the bride and groom, who eventually elected to leave through a private back entrance.

The man at the centre of the controversy stated he didn’t want to catch his cousin’s garter but was forced into the ceremony and refused to be one of those guys who makes a big deal about not catching it.

“You have to watch what you do. If I let it sail by I end up getting branded a commitment-phobe for life,” stated the man.

“What are you writing?”

More to come.


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