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Local office worker Richie Carter wowed the crowd at Sir Joh Oval this weekend, after burning an opponent with his scintillating speed.

The Reserve Grade fly-half who claims he played rep footy as a 16-year-old, reportedly lit up a woman trying to mark him on the wing, showing a clean pair of heels to score in the corner.

The incredible athletic feat came after Richie recognised the weak link in the defensive line and seized the day.

“Bro, fair’s fair, I’m not gonna go easy or anything,” said the man who lives to burn a woman on the wing cause he hasn’t got the speed or agility to do anything through the middle.

“Killer instinct man, I’m like MJ, I can’t turn it off. Ever,” epxlained the social mixed touch warrior who cannot go a week without getting into an argument with the referee.

“That’s the difference between me and you.”

The man who is part of that touch team that everyone hates playing despite usually beating them, then went on to say that until theirs a rule about not being a shit bloke, he won’t be changing his behaviour.

“Using my simple genetic speed advantage isn’t dog. It’s part of the game,” said the man who treats a game of Finska like life and death.

“I’d rather be a shit bloke than a loser,” laughed the local loser.

“If you’ve got a gift like my pace, ya use it,” he said.

His team ended up losing 6-2.

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