Opposition Leader Peter Dutton has kept the hits playing, by revealing a mind bending new policy today.

The man who just can’t take a loss has revealed that if elected he will be bringing high speed rail to the whole country!

A fabled vote winning pitch at every single election since we got rid of free university, high speed rail has long been a concept that always seemed like a pie in the sky.

Due to Australia’s vast geography, lack of innovation and inability to build infrastructure that doesn’t revolve around digging shit out of the ground, the nation had just assumed that high speed rail was a unicorn.

However, Peter Dutton has now come forward to inform the nation that our wildest dreams could become reality.

The high speed rail concept comes a couple of days after Dutton revealed his one page nuclear plan that goes against every single thing any expert not funded by the nuclear lobby says.

Based on absolutely no evidence, Dutton revealed 7 locations for nuclear plants which will be up and running in the next 15 years and cost like roughly half a trillion or dollars, without a cent of private investment.

Experts have widely panned the idea which is based in more of a fantasy land than a young greens advisor calling for a Universal Basic Income.

Now, Dutton’s new pitch comes in the form of a one paragraph media release (that most of his cabinet wasn’t aware of or briefed on).

The media release which was sent to The Advocate reads as such:

Under a Peter Dutton led government, Australia will have a high speed rail network connecting every major city and town. The network will be completed by 2031 at the latest and will allow people to get from Perth to Sydney in less than 3 hours. It will probably cost a lot but will defs be worth it and definitely won’t be privatised immediately after it’s completed.”

Initially, opinion has been split between describing the new high speed rail pitch as completely delusional and fantastical, while others have said it’s a genius policy that will change the face of the nation.

Dutton has promised more details on how a country that hasn’t been able to get close to the most basic framework for a light rail network for 50 years will be able to now build it in the next 7.

More to come.


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