Less than a week in and local dad and humble moustache wearer Omer Demir (55) is already sick of all these Movember moustache tourists.

Having never played contact sport, Demir took to facial hair to prove his masculinity but opted for a moustache instead of a beard as he still wanted people to visit his rug shop without shaking in fear post 9/11.

Demir states he has put up with a lot as his former slum in Betoota’s Flight Path District has slowly become a gentrified suburb frequented by less successful arty types, but the annual increase of moustached men is a step too far for him.

“They call those things moustaches?” stated Demir as he stroked what looked like a majestic moth that had landed beneath his nose.

“You’re trying to save lives? How about save my eyes and shave that bloody thing off! It doesn’t even touch your lips!”

Worse than having to look at the feeble moustache attempts according to Demir is the sheer quantity of customers who ask him if he too is participating in Movember.

“I tell them if I was participating in Movember they would have found a cure by now.”

“They usually leave without buying anything right after I say that.”


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