A street smart local man has found his way out of a potentially sticky situation today.

As the day turns to night on a big day for Berrick Billson, the young man has had a big few hours.

And that fact, has raised the ire of his long term girlfriend who has to be at work early tomorrow morning and doesn’t have a job where she can be a bag of shit all day like Billson the Finance Analyst.

So, after a few gently worded hints about potentially easing up on the spiral towards a 2:30 am kebab, Billson’s girlfriend Ash Stosur had to pull the handbrake.

“I think you should start thinking about pulling up stumps,” said Stosur to her boyfriend whose conversational level with his mates was now at the volume of an angry CrossFit trainer.

Reading the writing on the wall, Billson took a moment before ‘caving’ and agreeing that his current beer would be his last.

The folding as quickly a cheap tent took his girlfriend by surprise.

However, only a short time later she realised that what had transpired after her smirking boyfriend returned with a freshly cracked Canadian Club in hand.

“Promised I wouldn’t have another beer, didn’t promise I would have another drink,” he said before bursting out in laughter and grabbing one of his mates like a drunk 60-year-old boss at a Christmas party.

Rubbing salt in the wound, the young man acting as if he’d just pulled off a greater con job than anything Hollywood has ever seen took a big old swig out of the Canadian Club, sealing his fate.

“Don’t do your puppy outside in a storm little whimper tomorrow when you are a hot clammy sweat shaking piece of shit,” she sighed.

“You’ve dug your grave.”

Billson then pulled a funny face as if he were as bullet proof as he felt right now, and his girlfriend shook her head and laughed before turning back to one of her friends.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here