Former Prime Ministerial hopeful Christian Porter has chalked up another big win, it can be confirmed this week.

The man who was once the highest legal officer in the land has taken the huge scalp of the Australian Broadcasting Corporation, by resigning to the backbench.

His resignation follows revelations that someone or some people had been anonymously paying his legal fees against the ABC, and was an effort to try and get everyone to forget about the matter and stop asking questions.

It’s believed Porter is now hopeful that people will stop asking why he was just ‘given’ money by a source that wants to remain anonymous, despite it sounding very fucking dodgy to the naked ear.

His current resignation comes a few months after his proclaimed win over the ABC in court, where he dropped defamation proceedings without them paying damages or removing the article from their website.

“This is another example of the ABC being forced to eat humble pie,” explained the man whose dreams of becoming Prime Minister are over.

“It’s a humiliating back down for them,” continued Porter, who is resigning to the backbench and relinquishing his Ministry jobs.

“I guess they never should have asked questions about whether it’s reasonable that a high ranking politician answer some questions about allegations of horrendous criminal conduct.”

“Bet they’ll think twice about picking a fight with me and pursuing public interest journalism again.”

“Stupid lefties, real egg on the face for them today,” said Porter, who is still refusing an independent enquiry into his behaviour.

“Not sure how they’ll recover from this one.”


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