In sad news, the Bureau of Meteorology has today declared that hot girl summer is postponed until 2022, disappointing many young women who were looking forward to being unapologetically themselves this December.

Spokeswoman Sharon Carter tells The Advocate that due to La Nina, Aussies can expect a wet summer, as plenty of rainfall is expected across Queensland and New South Wales.

This natural occurrence is caused by shifts in the temperature of the pacific ocean and can have an unpredictable pattern, occurring every 3 – 7 years or even two years in a row. 

Spanish for ‘the girl’, La Nina is much preferred to its hot, temperamental little brother ‘El Nino’, which causes widespread, significant drought and devastating areas that desperately need rain.

Though this year’s ‘La Nina’ is pipped to be quite tame in comparison to earlier years, some young Aussies are understandably quite upset with the announcement.

“Look, I’m pretty annoyed”, says local twenty-something Renee Winger.

“Can’t travel, rent prices are through the roof, and now they’re taking away hot girl summer. Unbelievable.”

Another woman, Jasmine lewis says she’d been looking forward to getting loose after having a sad girl winter.

“Guess I won’t need a hot summer body if summer isn’t happening”, says Jasmine, desperately trying to find a silver lining.

“Didn’t feel like shaving my thighs anyway.”

More to come.


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