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Quiet Wedderburn in NSW was briefly very noisy yesterday when a suspicious package was detonated by the NSW Police Rescue & Bomb Disposal Unit after a call from a concerned member of the public.

“I knew something was up as soon as I saw the parcel on the porch,” said former parcel owner Vaughn Millot.

“I ordered it last week and they said it would be delivered on Tuesday morning, but when it arrived, it was Tuesday morning. I knew straight away that something was terribly wrong. I very carefully peeked inside the box and I could see wires and electrical components. I mean, wires and electrical components was exactly what I ordered, but having it turn up on the actual day the courier said it would arrive was just too much of a coincidence and I called the cops right away”.

Bomb Disposal Technician Heather Jettison said the parcel was safely detonated just in time.

“We arrived at the property at 1820hrs and observed the parcel located on the porch of the residence. We immediately established an exclusion zone and deployed a bomb disposal robot to investigate.”

“Initial observations indicated the parcel contained a quantity of wiring and unidentified electrical components. These appeared to be inert, but when we received intel from the property owner that the parcel was delivered on the same day the courier said that it would be we immediately became extremely suspicious and decided to neutralise the object with a controlled detonation”.

When asked for further information about what the parcel originally contained, Jettison was uncertain. “How the fuck should I know? It’s in tiny pieces everywhere”.

Residents within a 1km radius were evacuated and the parcel was detonated at around 7:00pm. The all clear was given at 7:45pm and residents were able to return to their properties.

“I’m glad they blew it up before it could blow up” said tiny-pieces-of-parcel owner Vaughn.

“I mean, my kids play on the porch sometimes. I don’t want to think about what would have happened if either of them found it. The bomb squad was great, I’m so glad they were able to prevent a disaster by blowing the parcel up. Although it would have been nice if they had taken it off the porch first”.

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