For someone who once stated he would be happy to elope at the registry office, Martin Gould (33) is now very adamant that he and his fiance Michelle Frost (31) need to have a destination wedding.

Known for being the most expensive way to tell your loved ones to sit on a chode, destination weddings involve relocating the marriage ceremony from somewhere within driving distance to somewhere you need a passport to visit.

Usually the location is of special significance to the couple or at the very least, somewhere aesthetically pleasing enough to get the official wedding hashtag trending.

For Gould however, he is insisting his wedding take place in Fiji, despite having never been to the country.

“It will be really beautiful there, we will remember it forever,” said Gould, who has sounded more animated while watching the Gold Coast Titans play footy.

“Oh wow, it has a pool, this place is amazing. It will be worth the wait, promise babe.”

Although Gould’s fiance isn’t against the idea of a destination wedding, she does find it strange that a guy who refused to pay for the bridesmaid dresses is now insisting on the most expensive type of wedding possible. 

“I mean, we’ve already been engaged for seven years so waiting another three isn’t a big deal if it’s in our dream destination,” stated Frost, as she went over her Pinterest wedding mood board that was started back when Pinterest was actually a thing.

“Thing is though, it’s not our dream destination, I think Marty is just freaking his shit about actually getting married which is weird considering he was the one who proposed.”

According to Frost, this is not the first time Gould has employed deceptive tactics to delay the happiest day of his life. 

“For years it was ‘we’re not getting married until everyone can.’ Then he said he needed to mature a bit and then for like two years he just said he was ‘waiting for a sign’ which is just weird because we’re already fucking engaged.”

“To be honest, at this point I might just have to drop him but I’ll let him have his bucks first. That will be the highpoint of his life.”


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