Recently vocal pro-life campaigner former Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce appears to be the only anti-abortion advocate who likes to have sex for the pleasure it brings his private parts, according to a recent report by the normal citizens people walking past the Hyde Park protests on the weekend.

Joyce was joined by the CTE-riddle and now extremely unemployed former Prime Minister Tony Abbott, and thousands of mostly male Christians who can’t get a root to save themselves, and therefor resent women for it.

The weekend’s protests were followed by a wildly embarrassing 24-hours for the NSW government as rebel Liberal MPs angry at NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian over her support for a bill to decriminalise abortion have called off a leadership spill motion against her.

The three MPs Tanya Davies, Lou Amato and Matthew Mason-Cox last night announced they would call an “empty chair” spill motion against the premier because amendments they wanted had been rejected in full “or in part with vague undertakings for further discussion”.

The three MPs whose names have never seen the light of day outside of their own irrelevant hometowns during the state election that Berejiklian won for them, are believed to be only interested in having sexual intercourse for the purpose of procreation.

However, according to witnesses, the crowds protesting on the weekend seemed to share similar sentiments regarding the universally recognised practice of coitus – principally the insertion and thrusting of the penis into the vagina for sexual pleasure.

Except most protestors looked like they haven’t even had the chance to practice copulation, even for the purpose of creating embryos that have more rights than the living and breathing children on illegal immigrants.

One onlooker, South-Sydney based car rental receptionist Alexandria Botany (33) said there was ‘a real school shooter energy’ around most of the fat virgins protesting womens rights to her own healthcare on the weekend.

“Lots of indoor cats in the park. Some of them looked like they hadn’t seen that much sunlight in a while”

Another witness, Western Sydney cab driver Ash Field (66) said he reckons most of those blokes would have pretty concerning internet search history.

“Lots of comic books characters on their t-shirts” he said.

“These blokes wouldn’t be able to pull a root in a brothel”


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