LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

Although no one is sure how it happened, someone let uncle of 12 and fulltime Gen Xer ‘Uncle’ Roari Lund (56) listened to triple j.

Needless to say, the self-confessed lover of “real f**king music” was not too impressed by the selection of modern music he heard during the 15 minutes he listened to the youth radio station.

“This song sounds the same as the last bloody one!” insisted Lund as he compared Ruby Fields to Khalid.

“All your generation says they hate plastic then why is the music so plastic for then?”

Lund then informed our reporters of his own musical tastes by reciting an unprompted list of musical groups he considers more important than any of the four women he has ever shared a bed with.

“Ya ever heard of Mi-Sex, nah course you haven’t they won’t teach that in schools these days. What about some bloody Acadaca mate! Only if you want some music with hairs on it’s nackers!”

For those without an Uncle Roari, AC/DC (colloquially known as Acadaca) are an Australian rock band known for a string of hits in the ’70s and ’80s featuring screaming vocals and heavy guitar riffs, a point Lund emphasised by loudly shredding on air guitar.

“Had a sankless sighs [sic] palomino eyes [sic], and knocking me out with those American thighs! Acadaca mate! C’mon, real instruments mate!”

It was at this moment that Lund made the outlandish and unsubstantiated claim that he can tell AC/DC songs apart. 

“Of course I can! Highway; duh-duh-duh. Duh-duh-dah, duh-duh-dah, dah, duh-duh.”

“Dirty Deeds: Duh, da-dah, da-da, duh! Wait fuck that was TNT.”

Although Lund clearly demonstrated a lack of phonographic recollection for one of his favourite bands, Uncle Roari insisted they were immune from criticism, unlike the crap his nieces and nephews listen to.

“That stuff hasn’t even touched a drumkit mate, it’s all lactose free crap, I’ll lend you the greatest hits mate, get a real tune up ya!”


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