LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In what some are calling a clear-cut case of domestic terrorism, Betoota Ponds local Marty Malone (34) cooked eggs in the lunch room microwave he shares with other people.
At approximately 1:30pm, Malone and his coworkers convened in their demountable lunch room for a well earned 2nd-morning tea.
As his coworkers discussed podcasts and correct cooking temperatures for elk meat, Malone cracked two eggs into a bowl before placing them inside the communal microwave and nuked them like Bikini Atoll.
“At first we thought someone had farted while dying,” stated co-worked Roxanne Bailey.
“Then we realised no one could produce such a smell without there being some radioactive interference involved.”
After microwaving his cage-reared eggs, Malone garnished them with half of the communal BBQ sauce before sitting with his peers at the lunch table as if he wasn’t a man deserving of a long incarceration sentence.
“Christ, you can so tell he doesn’t have a wife.”
At the time of writing, colleagues of Malone claim that the bowl he used to microwave the eggs in is still sitting in the sink, waiting for someone else to wash it.