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The announcement that cricketing great Shane Warne has launched his first fragrance has been well received by husky grade cricketers right around the country today.
Finally, the missing piece of the puzzle can be rammed into place – for all of the diehard clubmen out there who are still unconventionally handsome despite fluctuating waistlines and heavy addictions to Benson and Hedges.
Betoota Dugongs 4th-grader, Luca Wagner (36) is one of these men.
For years his love life has been put on the backburner for his cricket, opting to sing chants and drink beer out of the end-of-season 4th grade trophy than create a login for those singles websites his mum has been suggesting.
That was until he picked up a bottle of Shane Warne’s new fragrance from his local Chemist Warehouse this morning, while on his way to work as the logistics manager at a prominent 2nd-hand white goods retailer.
Standing outside the Betoota Heights Arcade, Luca tore open the box and discarded into on the footpath like the pig of a man he is.
With a couple sprays of SW to his neck, and wrist (like they do in the ads) – this hopeless romantic suddenly transformed into an absolute pantsman.
Before he’d even gotten to work he’d taken a few phone numbers from a swarm of single women jumping on and off his bus.
Arriving at the office, he was met with a heavily tinted black Cadillac Escalade, with unmarked plates.
Inside it sat the most attractive women he had ever seen, up until that point, who wanted him to get inside and have sex.
Now with a British supermodel under his arm, and only 12 more matches in the Diamantina Shire’s recommenced late-winter 4th grade comp, Luca is really starting to put some spin on them.
But it’s not just the magnetic affect he now has with women that has changed his life for the better.
As much as he hates to dog the boys he’s played with for the last 15 years, it looks like he might be getting bumped up to the 3rds next week.
At time of press, Luca was seen making his usual lunchroom delicacy of four toasted cheese and ham sandwiches with tomato sauce, while avoiding phone calls from his horny new British Supermodel girlfriend who has decided to leave the big lights of London and stay with the man she loves in Betoota.