ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
For some reason, a local city worker found himself in the heart of our town’s Old City District today around lunchtime. It’s one of the more touristy parts of our bustling inland metropolis and the food selections are grim and far between.
With the sun high in the sky and his blood sugar crashing, Roden Allen decided he’d get Subway for the first time in 7 years.
The Old City District Subway is inside a newsagency, which is next to the Cold Rock Ice Cream shop and a tobacconist.
Roden said he went into the newsagency to buy thumbtacks to stick the sagging roofline of his Mitsubushi 380 to the roof when he saw that for some reason, he could also get a Subway sandwich.
“So I thought, why the hell not?” he said.
“I looked at the menu and told the young fella behind the counter to make me a roast beef one with all the trimmings except guacamole. I’m not Kerry Packer,”
“So he makes it and I sit down at the small Subway dine-in section next to the adult magazines and board games and had an existential crisis. Why am I eating this? Why am I in a newsagency? Why is there a Subway inside a newsagency? I’ve only ever seen this once before – and that was on Baggot Street in Dublin near Searsons,”
“What even is on this sandwich? Why am I eating this if I don’t know what it is?”
“None of this makes sense.”
So Roden wrapped the rest of his sandwich up and slipped it into his Crumpler messenger and walked out of the newsagents.
Once outside on the street, he tried to shake his head and snap out of it. But while he was walking back to his pice-of-shit car, he saw a crow eating a common rock pigeon alive. The birds stopped to look at him and Roden shrugged at them both.
More to come.
