Just as a toddler will one day declare they are willing to dress themselves, Australia has put its hand up and is ready to reopen for tourists. 
“We need to get the word out that Australia is open and ready to go,” said

Prime Minister Scott Morrison, who as the managing director for Tourism Australia produced a tourism campaign that was considered too rude to run in most countries, with the tagline: “Just visit. Visit you fucks.” 

Despite having some of the world’s most amazing beaches, unique ecosystems and every Australian Idol winner, Australia has always had a massive problem convincing tourists it’s worth spending over 17 hours in hellish transit to get to.

It also probably does not help that we force backpackers to earn their keep by picking fruit for $5 AUD an hour in 40 degree heat. 

In a law that may be a response to the time England sent over all their undesirables, visa holders from countries like the UK are forced to forfeit up to half their time spent in Australia pulling onions out of the ground with only a gardeners glove between them and the fangs of a Taipan. 

“It’s a working holiday, something like they used to do in Russia! The fruit’s not gonna pick itself!”

A particularly odd and unusually cruel law, most Australians are weirdly at peace with the idea that those looking to enjoy themselves in our amazing countries must be subject to demanding physical labor in with a side of legally ambiguous payr ates and smattering of sexual assault. 



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