ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Keen to make up for his many faults and personality defects, a North Betoota carpet layer has broken with protocol this morning and let his young wife take the foil off the fresh Milo tin he picked up last night.

Nathan Decanter told reporters this morning that this was only the start of his Valentines Day plans.

“I’m not sure what else I’m going to do,” he said.

“Pelican Pete gobbled up most of my pay cheque this week so it looks like I’m cooking dinner tonight for V-Day. I reckon Mandy would prefer that, anyway.”

Mandy, who married Nathan last year to great local fanfare, confirmed to The Advocate that she wasn’t expecting much from the big fella this year.

She told reporters that Nathan has a track record of fucking everything up but somehow landing on his feet every time.

“That’s half the reason why I married him,” she said.

“I know he’s probably done something to make himself feel anxious about today. Last year, he put the work ute on its lid while he was trying to swap CDs. He didn’t tell me for a week, said his apprentice gave him the black eyes,”

“Anyway, I’d be happy with a taco mince jaffle with cheese and a back rub. The commercialisation of today is part of the reason why western society is crumbling.”

More to come.


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