ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Most homes in the heavily-gentrified French Quarter are decked out top to bottom in plastic Halloween rubbish today as our town’s most progressive high-net-worth individuals pause their war on petroleum-based materials for Western society’s most polarising festival.

One such family to call a truce on naughty plastic is the Bagnatti family of Rue de Putain, who have put fake plastic cobwebs on their gorgeous terrace house, plastic fucking pumpkins, a full-size plastic skeleton, plastic buckets as well as other plastic rubbish.

They quietly supported Betoota’s teal candidate, Associate Professor Dr James “Jimmy” Overell, in this year’s federal election where unfortunately for the Bagnatti’s, incumbent Nationals leader David Littleproud ran home with a large majority.

They quietly supported Dr Overell with large sums of money, they also had his corflute zip-tied to the wrought-iron fence out the front.

“Climate change was our biggest concern,” said Ralph Bagnatti.

Mr Bagnatti spoke to The Advocate today from 1.5m away, standing on the stoop of his grand terrace house that once was home to three or four families.

“We’re on the front lines of it out here in the Diamantina. Dr Overell would’ve been a stellar representative for the Maranoa. In the future, I can see change. I feel the mood changing in the people. Waste and recycling will become an issue as our city grows. So too will water security. But we can’t secure water for our city and local agriculture at the expense of the environment. We must do it in a way that doesn’t impact on me.”

Our reporter asked Mr Bagnatti about reconciling covering his house in plastic shit that’s going to be in a bin by Friday morning with his politics.

“It’s going in the recycling bin, it’s not going to landfill,” he said.

“To be honest, I’m disappointed in The Advocate for trying to pry this angle. It’s more of a NewsCorpse [chuckle] Betoota Bugle type article, don’t you think? I know people have started calling your newspaper The French Quarter Advocate but that doesn’t mean you have to take the low road. The good guys won the election.”

More to come.


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