ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A recent poll has shown that the overwhelming majority of real Tasmanians don’t want to bring back the thylacine from extinction; the polar opposite of sentiment on the mainland.

The thought of reviving the land-based apex predator is surprisingly unpopular with people who have to live on the island according to locals who have spoke to The Advocate this morning via wired telephone.

Our reporter spoke to Bothwell primary producer Wavell Anderson, who said it was Tasmanian squatters like him and his ancestors who got rid of the thing in the first place.

“If you had thylacine running about, you’d be losing more than just lambs, I’ll tell you that much for free,” he said.

“They used to get a lot bigger than the last couple that died in a zoo. Could you imagine having a giant dog lurking around at night, sneaking up on you? A pack of them could take down a Hereford steer! No longer could you comfortably walk from from the pub at night. You couldn’t just get a gut ful of Cascade, or Boags if you’re one of those mainland sympathisers in the North, and walk home at night without having the fear of being torn apart by thylacines,”

“Honestly, we’d have or Jacqui [Lambie] down here in 30 seconds telling us she’s not worrying about gay marriage because every three months, someone is torn to bits by a thylacine. I’m sorry, it’s a romantic idea but no thanks. If those mouthbreathers on the mainland want them, they can have them.”

The Advocate reached out to a number of Melbourne, Sydney and Brisbane based tree-changing professionals who are using their wealth to tear apart Tasmanian society with their obscene wealth for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

More to come.


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