It is still yet to be confirmed how a borderline comatose young man has managed to find his way somewhere this evening.

28-year-old Council Engineer Aaron Jones has somehow made his way to the Empire Theatre in Toowoomba tonight.

The young man who could barely give The Advocate a ballpark estimate regarding his alcohol consumption over the course of the day explained that his mate sorted the whole thing out.

“Yeah, my mate bought tickets to this thing a few weeks ago and now I’m here,” laughed the young man from Queensland’s ‘City Of Churches.’

“It’s been a pretty big go down here.”

“I had the first ‘white egg’ after the second race, so that probably tells you enough about the trajectory of my Melbourne Cup day.”

“To be honest with you, I’m as surprised as you are that I managed to fucking get here tonight.”

Jones explained that the bookies were kind to him today, and as a result, he has made sure not to pull any punches, in the celebratory sense.

“Life’s great mate. I had a good 12 hours on the punt and the drink,” he said.

“And I’m not from fucking Ipswich [ha ha], so that’s always a good enough reason to celebrate.”

“I had a couple of Vodka Red Bull’s there before as well, so it’s looking like I might even make it to the George Banks afterwards for the after party.”

“Pending I get in obviously. My face feels like someones just ran one of those Sushi blowtorches over it and I’m struggling to stay upright, so wish me luck,” he laughed before asking our reporter to leave and let him enjoy the show.






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