LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

Straight edge uni student Orin Crouch (19) has been rewarded from abstaining from drugs and alcohol by being given the honor of driving stoned friends to the drive-thru.

A paramedics student, Crouch is part of the hardcore punk subculture known as straight edge, where adherents abstain from alcohol, tobacco and drug use.

While playing video games in their dorm common room, Crouch was rewarded for his temperance as his stoned mates asked him if he could please take them to drive through in exchange for for a free meal.

Initially, Crouch rejected the offer as he is vegan in addition to being straight edge but eventually gave in when they offered to get him a large chips and was told he could get first controller when they got back.

“I’m picking the music though,” stated Crouch as the four passengers crammed into his two door Hyundai Excel, with a red P-plate hardly distinguishable among the plethora of animal rights bumper stickers.

“Hope you like Minor Threat.”

Crouch proceeded to drive his stoned friends 15 minutes to the nearest drive-thru while their incessant giggling at signs and mailboxes was drowned out by the hardcore punk that would have rendered a police siren inaudible.

Upon arriving at drive-thru, Crouch suggested they order inside but the idea was shot down as the passengers claimed to be too stoned to talk to the staff.

“Can we pay separately? Here’s my card,” stated one red-eyed passenger holding out a student card.

“Ah! Haha, whoops!”

Returning to the dorm, Crouch was further rewarded for not indulging in drugs by being offered the chips that had fallen into the bag, as well as rights to any chips he found in his car the next day.


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