ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A Betoota Heights family has learned their son’s cleft palate surgery will not be covered by their health fund because they didn’t read the fine print that says the only thing they’re covered for is the Medicare Levy Surcharge.

Speaking to The Advocate this afternoon, Kelly Daley said she received the Informed Financial Consent form from St Bunghole’s Private Hospital in the French Quarter today and read that they’d be on the hook for the full amount.

Despite having Sapphire Dildo coverage, the Daley Family’s health fund, Greater Union Of Naturopaths Trust (GUNT), was reportedly unable to inform the hospital that they had ‘appropriate level coverage for this pre-existing condition.’

“Obviously, I rang them,” she said.

“And I spoke to a lovely condescending cunt called Andrew who was very patronising and made sure to speak very slowly so a stupid fucking idiot like me could understand everything at every point. First of all, he thanked me for being a loyal GUNT customer and also made sure to point out that I’d been very patient,”

“Then he said that the level of coverage that I had, had I actually read the fine print of the policy, only covered ambulances and the Medicare Levy Surcharge. He explained that we pay $300 a month to GUNT so we don’t have to pay the Federal Government the MLS at tax time. That’s all we’re covered for,”

“Am I missing something? Why does private health insurance exist when it’s not worth anything? We could’ve got my son’s cleft palate done on the list, in about 12 months time and we’d have to fast him and take him in, only for the surgeon to bump us for something more important like a paying private customer or some light buggery down at the golf club!”

“Oh, and at the end, he asked me if there was anything else that he could help me with. I said no and then he chuckled and said, ‘Well fuck you, too, Kelly. Have a great afternoon.'”

More to come.


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