Speaking to The Advocate this afternoon, a Sunshine Coast resident has been kind enough to reveal why the nation is in its current ‘malaise.’

Celeste Sequoia (formerly known as Charlotte Smith) explained to us that the reason everything is going to shit is because our nation’s politicians are so out of touch with the people.

The self-proclaimed naturopath who sells Chinese made Sandalwood, Essential Oils and various other holistic items at the Eumundi markets, says she doesn’t understand why our politicians don’t make an effort to learn about actual people.

“Urgh, seriously, they have no idea how the everyman lives,” explained the Arts dropout who still speaks to her Ascot based parents that are desperately hoping this whole thing is just a phase.

“Why doesn’t Scott Morrison try and come up here to the markets and just look around, and begin to learn from the people he is supposed to lead,” she said.

“Instead of trying to pretend to like Rugby League and act like a masculine bloke. Those days are over.”

“They should try and expand their minds a little bit,” explained the woman giving off an overpowering smell of Essential Oils who hasn’t been to a pub in nearly 3 years.

“Most people care way more about spirituality, alternative health, growing organic vegetables and playing music than all of the stuff they seem to go on about.”

“Blah blah blah jobs economy blah gyms sport blah blah blah pubs, it really shocks me how out of tune they are,” she finished at which point our reporter couldn’t hold their breath any longer and took leave.


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