ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Prominent ball pilferer David Pocock was chuffed to announce this morning that his plans for the rugby offseason have now been sorted as the Adani Carmichael Mine in Central Queensland recieved the green light yesterday.

Speaking to the media this morning outside his humble Canberra red brick, the 30-year-old said he’d been wondering what he was going to do with himself over the warmer months.

“Yeah did you see that?” said the barrel-chested Brisbanese-Zimbabwean.

“Adani is going ahead, which is pretty crook if you ask me. So yeah, I reckon it might be time to blow the dust off the handcuffs, cut off a length of bore casing and ah, yeah. Cuff myself to a D10. I was going to watch the cricket but now I guess I’ll have to listen to it on the radio!”

“I learned a lot when I handcuffed myself to that earthmover, close to where World Cup Hero Sam Carter is from. You can acheive a lot. But this time, I might get a wider pipe because my forearms are much bigger these days.”

Pocock then took two questions from the ABC then invited the rest of the media around the back to look has his chickens.

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here