ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Our happy-go-lucky country’s Bloke-In-Chief has raised his own eyebrows today in Canberra when he blamed this bloody Tasmanian snowstorm on the fact that the planet is getting warmer.
“Must be this global warming, Mr Speaker,” he shouted.
“The people of Hobart woke up this morning to a snowstorm so I think it’s time that the woke woke up to themselves over this issue [laughs] No, I’m being serious. We’ve done the focus groups, Mr Speaker! The carbon issue is popular so we’re being seen doing something about it. Doing anything about carbon, in terms of this government, is just posturing to appease the people who want to vote for us but be able to tell people that they did,”
“Because if the planet was on fire like members opposite and the sad lonely nerd from Malbun [sic] who sits up there would have to believe, then why is it snowing in Tasmania in November? Why was it the coldest it’s been there for sixty years,”
“Spare me, Mr Speaker. Spare me from this climate hysteria. Being in Glasgow was like being in a room full of 50-year-old childless women fighting over the last piece of pavola. Just put the family in the Santa Fe and head up the coast,”
“If the planet dies then that was God’s Plan. We’d be foolish to think otherwise.”
More to come.
