ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The pair of pig-headed boomers responsible for creating and fostering an environment where their staff can be sexually assaulted have discussed their future during a phone call this morning.

Scott Morrison, the marketing professional who moonlights as our Prime Minister, phoned his Defence Minister Linda Reynolds to ask her to resign to take some of the heat off him.

“I need you to take one for team ScoMo and resign, Linda,” said Big Scott.

But it’s understood by The Advocate that despite having an alleged rape happen in her fucking office, she feels that she’s done nothing wrong.

“No Scott, I’m not taking one for Team ScoMo. I have done nothing wrong. It was the alleged rapist who did something wrong. It was the security guard that let them in who did something wrong. Not me, who is ultimately responsible for anything else,”

“So no. This will all blow over.”

The Prime Minister’s Office refused to comment on this any further and Scott Morrison will not be appearing in public until the news cycle lets this issue go and everyone goes back to praising him for saving us from the Pangolin Plague.

More to come.


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