ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
An account director at some forgettable advertising agency has splashed out this morning, securing an ugly Patagonia jumper that he’s going to wear every day the maximum is under 24 degrees this winter.
Arriving by train this morning to the French Quarter, Steve Stick explained to The Advocate in the twang-less white noise that is his speaking voice about what drew him to the Patacuntia outlet shop on Rue de Branlette.
“Need a new jumper,” he said.
“I was in the market for one. I remember that year seeing some dead-eyed office drones wearing a brightly coloured Patagonia jumper and I thought, ‘Gosh that’s cool’, and wondered if I’d be able to be pull that off,”
“$699 RM Williams boots, $19 chinos from Amazon, a cheap non-iron office banger button up from Charles Tyrwhitt and this, my microfibre lorikeet pullover!”
Other equally as forgettable coworkers of Pogo were quick to put the boot in behind his back, telling our reporter that only the biggest dorks wear that specific Patacuntia pullover.
“Man, if he wasn’t getting married later this year, I would’ve thought he spent his free time laying poisoned meat out for dogs in parks,” one said.
“The girl he’s marrying is from New Zealand. Her name is Pogo believe it or not. Being a middle-class Kiwi, she’s also a fucken weirdo. They’d make a good pair,”
“But yeah, that jumper, dude. What an NPC!”
More to come.
