ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The unsinkable Barnaby Joyce has started the leadership goanna pull inside the Nationals Party Room meeting in Canberra today, taking on the likes of Victorian Darren Chester and Queenslander David Littleproud.

As is customary, the two challengers took their shirts off and consumed two hot mid-strength beers and signed a waiver.

Sources within the Nationals say Barnaby arrived for the party room meeting an hour early to put down the green tarp and set the scene.

The party’s wooden wombat was placed between Barnaby and his challengers, with his leather belt waiting to be looped together with whoever wanted to go first.

Early suggestions indicate David Littleproud is the pick of the two challengers as he’s one of the only sitting MPs able to do a chin-up and hold his own body weight.

The Thrilla from Chinchilla also boasts a much lower centre of gravity than Mr Joyce, something that is critical to success in the goanna pull area.

However, party sources say that Darren Chester has one of the the strongest necks in Canberra since Glenn Lazarus, which is also key to winning on the pulling field.

Time will tell if they have the most important aspect to winning a goanna pull, some fucking ticker, which is something Barnaby Joyce has in spades, according to the man himself.

This is a developing story.

More to come.


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