ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The latest NAPLAN school results are out which is something that has one local real estate agent very excited.

Of the seven state schools in Betoota, the school with the highest NAPLAN score is Green Street State School in Betoota Grove. That means real estate agents like Kevin Haslop, he can start telling his client in that school catchment they can charge a premium.

“Being in the catchment can be the difference between your child growing up to be a smack head or a prime minister,” said Kevin.

“So for schools in neighbourhoods like Betoota Grove, it’s really the icing on the cake. Now that we have NAPLAN to leverage, we can squeeze even more out from our clients and ultimately us. I don’t have kids but let me tell you, there’s only so much you can do in the home to prepare your kids for life,”

“If you’re kid grows up to be an old-fashioned dumb cunt with severe personality issues, it’s the fault of the school and the teacher. It’s not your fault.”

Buoyed also by the release of this NAPLAN data is Department of Education representative in the Diamantina, Wendy Dim-juan, who said parents now have the tools they need to make the right choices.

Telling The Advocate today that NAPLAN isn’t just a tool to be used and abuse by real estate agents, it’s also handy for governments to pick and choose where to send funding.

“We make sure to earmark funding for schools that do well in NAPLAN because we aren’t in the business of spending taxpayer dollars on kids who are just going to grow up to retread tires or something,” she said.

“Our funding needs to go to schools where kids are worth investing in. Schools where the parents pay quite a bit of federal and state taxes. They need bang for their buck. NAPLAN is our way of making sure dumb kids don’t end up with air conditioning. It’s our way of making sure teachers need to dip into their own pay packet to make sure their classes have what they need,”

“That’s just the way it is.”

More to come.


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