ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A Betoota Heights man who enjoys running and sharing his route to Facebook opted to go with a mushroom bun today as he ordered lunch with coworkers.

He winced and cringed at the idea of eating lunch in a pub at first, but once a colleague said he’d be getting the portobello buns, Alistair Jones quickly changed his tune.

“Not sure about having a beer at lunch,” he sighed.

“That’s like having seven slices of bread. That and the chips. You can’t not go to a pub, order food and not have chips. I’m not a communist,”

“But when Sticksy said he was getting a seared chicken burger with a mushroom bun, I was sold. There’s nothing more healthy than that. Except of course rolling up onto your shoulder blades and trying to suck your own dick.”

Jones returned to the office about and hour later complaining of indigestion and stomach cramps.

He was last seen lying down on a couch in reception.

More to come.

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