LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Once a certified Bonglord of Dogtown, Millennial Joey Rand (31) is no longer bragging about his drug use which means he must actually have a serious addiction now.

Having previously posted pictures of his bongs with a caption that include the name of each, Rand has cut down on his cannabis bragging even though he has doubled down on his cannabis consumption.

“I have cut down…on spin,” stated Rand, who checks his letterbox at night so his neighbours don’t immediately identify him as the reason the block always reeks of hot ones.

“Anyway, we were talking about something else it was…ah fuck what was it, don’t tell me, I remember. Fark, what was it again?”

Unlike his days as a casual dealer and expert on cannabis strains, Rand no longer wanted to talk about his love for the choof. 

“I mean, yeah, can’t relate,” stated Rand’s mate Finnian Wust (32) a finance worker who recently stopped doing cocaine recreationally and now does it professionally.

“I used to be an absolute bag hag every weekend and now…well let’s just say the weekends are a welcome break from the white hell that’s become my life.” 

“But anyway, you see the footy, what about that Carrigan huh?”

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