A common problem has been given a contemporary twist with news that McDonald’s Soft Serve Machine is out of order as a direct result of COVID-19.

For years, the machines, which are obviously robust as they are designed to work in a commercial environment where downtime costs money, have been “out of order” whenever the staff have decided to clean out the machine early to go home sooner.

Betoota McDonald’s store manager Stephanie Nosbor says the newly-updated excuse was vital to ensure the store stayed relevant and connected with the customer base by reflecting the challenges they faced together.

“It’s just common sense. If you told someone they had to stay home for no reason they would tell you to go to hell, but since there is an international pandemic, everyone is happy to play ball for the future of humanity. We’re just harnessing that positive feeling to clean up sooner”.

However local stoner Matt says the new excuse lacks the relatability of the original.

“I liked the old one better, you know? Like “out of order” sounds like, you know, like it’s fucked, yeah? So you can’t have any sundaes because it’s broken.”

“Like, you know what I’m saying? It doesn’t work is what I’m trying to say. The machine is basically out of order, and there is no soft serve here. Saying the machine is broken because of some virus, like, that you can’t even see, it just sounds like bullshit if you can’t see it. Do you know what I mean? Like the machine is there, and you can see it, but there is no soft serve coming out. Man,” he sighed.

At this point, Matt attempted to purchase a soft-serve cone, only to leave disappointed after being told the machine was out of order.


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