ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

As the nation is currently in the Golden Age of low effort reality television, one local man has thought to himself watching Netflix’s Squid Game that the same show would be really cool if it was real and the people being brutally murdered were washed up local celebrities.

Without spoiling the rest of the series for our reporter, local man Fred Coin said he’s sick to death of either watching the “fucking ABC” every night or putting up with some reality TV gibberish on the commercial networks now we’re in the twilight zone between footy and cricket.

“That’s when I thought, as I watched some cooking show, that it’d be better if the price for fucking the scrambled eggs up with a 9mm through the forehead like how they do in Squid Game,” he said.

“Like imagine watching someone like, oh I dunno, some Big Brother contestant turned radio presenter hang a door upside down on The Block their Foreman Keith just enters the room and puts a magazine into them,”

“Maybe I should just put the TV back in the box until the Big Bash starts?”

More to come.


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