ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Member For Kennedy has welcomed the introduction of federal corruption watchdog legislation to the House of Representatives today, telling The Advocate that he supports it even though it doesn’t include a method to “dispatch the bastards who bring the Commonwealth into disrepute”.

Explaining to our reporter in Canberra, Bob Katter wanted a Federal ICAC with teeth.

“Not just teeth like you’d find in some tubby schoolboy addicted to sweets. I mean teeth like a crocodile,” he said.

“This legislation has some teeth. Maybe as many as old Reece Brooker from Isisford. He had one tooth his whole life and he sure knew how to use it. It was like getting bit by a pair of tin snips!”

“I would’ve liked to have seen some harsher penalties for corruption. Such as gallows or a guillotine. Something to keep the fear of God in these godless bastards down here in Canberra. I would’ve even taken a pool of hungry crocodiles. Imagine throwing some soft little Victorian MP into a pool of crocs because he’s been up to no good with developers or whatnot,”

“You could sell tickets to the thing. It reminds me of that video from years ago. That one where the Jack Russell tears off down the yard to bark at the big croc in the front yard. It goes off yapping at it while the people up on the deck are laughing and cheering the dog on then,”

“BANG! The croc’s got the dog and it’s yelping. You can hear the Jatz fall from their mouths. They’re screaming and carrying on. Someone’s knocked over the tin of smoked oysters. It’s bedlam,”

“That’s the type of corruption watchdog. One that snaps.”

More to come.


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