ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A Betoota Heights man who owns a Jeep Wrangler and loves it reckons it’s the perfect car for alpha blokes like him.

Speaking from the heart to our reporter this afternoon down at the Greens Avenue Carwash, Adrian Bonella explained that he’s in no rush to find someone to have his children.

The 38-year-old said that to The Advocate without prompt and out-of-context, which added to the unpleasant energy in the wash bay.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t go on a lot of dates,” he said.

“But the women here in Betoota don’t impress me. I’m not a dickhead or an arsehole but I’m from the school of ghosting. I don’t think it’s very disrespectful, I just think it’s best to have the cleanest possible snap. You get that by just not acknowledging they even exist. Even if you have ‘the sexy times’ with them.”

Adrian paused to smile and nod knowingly at our reporter.

“Like, the biggest influence in my dating life has been my Mum,” he said.

“She’s always been there for me and like, reckons I’m like the biggest opal in the rough, which is better than a diamond because they’re even rarer,”

“So that’s why I’m not worried. Because Mum’s not worried.”

Our reporter asked if Adrian always makes people he doesn’t know feel this uncomfortable.

Adrian said he did and it was because The Betoota Advocate is cucks who believe in vaccine science and universal suffrage.

More to come.


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