Grown man Curtis Dyson (33) officially has his weekend plans sorted after purchasing a new laser pointer.

Stopping at his local two-dollar shop to inhale the smell of cheap plastic that makes all cheapy-shops smell the same, Dyson purchased a laser pointer that for only $3.95 opened up a world of opportunities for a weekend he was probably going to spend doing things adults usually do.

“I thought these things were illegal!” stated Dyson, not noticing the store owner selling spray paint to a group of 12-year-olds.

“This is going to be good!”

For Dyson, Saturday night cannot come soon enough, as once it is dark he will be able to fully experience the comprehensive range of the laser pointer that he plans to aim at other buildings from the apartment he rents using money from his grown-up job.

As of the time of writing, Dyson plans to point the cheapy-shop laser into other people’s homes, his own mirror and possibly onto the screen at in a movie theatre as if it it is the ‘90s and he is 10 years old once again.

“Probably shouldn’t point it at a plane though. Reckon it could get it? I shouldn’t do it. I reckon I could though.”



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