As confirmed cases of COVID-19 reach over 1,000,000 worldwide, medical professionals and world leaders urge the public to practice social distancing unless it’s at the barbershop or bootcamp or something.

While the changes have been very difficult for some, retiree Phillip Malone (73) has managed to find a silver lining in a pandemic that has put him at high risk of not winning a meat tray.

Grandfather to seven adults, Malone (or as he’s lovingly known by his grandchildren, Mr Grandpa) has always taken issue with having to physically embrace another man regardless of how related to them he is, preferring a handshake or conversation about cricket instead.

Now it seems that COVID-19 couldn’t spread soon enough for Malone as social distancing means he does not have to hug any of his weirdly affectionate adult grandsons who have no issue talking about their feelings.

“Yeah better not boys,” practised Malone in the mirror, holding us his elbow for bumping and trying to contain his smile.

“This could go on for 18 months…”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here