ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Lockdowns are set to continue in 2022 after Prime Minister Scott Morrison told journalists today in Canberra that they’ll become a thing of the past.

In recent weeks, whatever the Prime Minister has said in regards to pretty much anything has been met with backflips weeks later.

Which is why many in the community are tipping that lockdowns will come back this year and probably be longer and more economically destructive than the ones of 2020 and 2021.

Now that the hyper-infectious but pussy version of the spicy cough is in every corner of the country, it will be hard to “un-fuck this puppy”, according to Opposition leader Anthony Albanese.

“Yes, this government has really screwed the pooch this time,” said Albo.

“They’ve ripped the BandAid off a bullet wound. This is up there with letting Adam Reynolds move to Brisbane in terms of fuck ups. It’s enough to make a kookaburra cry, it is, and they’re the happiest bird in the bush,”

“Tell you what, we’ll be in lockdown by the Queen’s Birthday. Especially in Victoria. When the weather turns down there, it’s time to lock up your Grannies because this fucking thing will find them and put them to the sword. It’ll be fucken chaos come winter time but if I’m the government then, you certainly won’t be lining up outside your local Harvey Norman to get some tests, that’s for fucking sure.”

More to come.


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