ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Acting Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has been copping more drive-by abuse than normal, he says, which he chalks up to there simply being a lot of French people who call Canberra home.

The Member for New England enjoys going for hill sprints from the Canberra National Pistol Club all the way to the summit of Mount Ainsley and today, he said some in the community chose to wind down their window and let him know what they really thought of him.

“I’m not going to repeat anything they said, it’s unfit for print. Even for your stupid fucking newspaper,” he said.

“But I’m trying to keep fit, I’ve got a young family and a lot of life left to live. A lot of school fees coming my way in a few years. Anyway, some days I try to run up Mount Ainsley as fast as I can. I imagine that I am a swift horse in my mind. Running like I’m Michael Holding into the crease. Quiet but strong,”

“It’s sort of this tantric state. It’s a state of focus that’s ruined by some coward giving me a spray from a moving car. Like just this morning, I was almost at the top so I gave myself a little treat and I started walking. So this bloody Peugeot comes around the bend and this bloke just fucken gives it to me,”

“He said, ‘Hurry up, you red-faced prick!’ and laughed to himself. Mate, I’m all for a joke at my expense but that’s taking the piss. I’d just been sprinting. Anyway, because it was a French car, I reckon it’d be about the submarines,”

“Which I had nothing to do with. If you ask me, I’d rather spend $90 billion on 90 billion Redskins.”

More to come.


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