ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A Betoota Heights small business owner has acknowledged Opposition leader Peter Dutton’s pledge not to forget him at the next election but he says all he wants is for some fucking high-paid prick in Canberra to make everything cheaper because right now, he’s got no fucking idea how he’s going to cope if things get worse than they already are.

Speaking quite candidly to The Advocate today in the smoking pokie room of the Bridge Street Hotel in the Old City District, Glenn Oliver explained that as an old fuck with not much super and a broken body, he’s got to work until his left ventricle explodes and he drops on the worksite.

When asked how he got to be so old and didn’t have any super, the 74-year-old said he’d been a sole trader for the past 40 years and before that, he did his arse when his business partner put the profits through the brickie’s laptop at the very same hotel he was standing in right now.

“Mate,” he prefaced.

“It doesn’t really matter a fuck to me who is running the show but I’d vote for the prick who can show me how they can make everything cheaper so I can do more with my life than work and pray to Christ I don’t end up in a concessional bed in some decrepit aged care facility getting flogged with a soap on a string whenever I buzz to take a piss,” he said.

“This Albo looks like he can do something for me but I’ve not held my breath for no fuck since that Kevin. So whatever, I don’t have much to my name so I don’t reckon any public servant cares about me, they do when they say I need an original birth certificate to get some DSP for my back, though, the cunts. Sorry, they’re just doing their job and that’s a terrible word,”

“But before I let you go, all I want is for some public servant prick to make my life cheaper and I will vote for them. It’s pretty fucking simple at the end of the day. I don’t care about China or getting shot up in some war with them. I don’t care about much, I just care about my life, mate, like every other miserable fucking prick in this country.”

Glenn then paused and looked our reporter in the eye, nodded, then walked away with the wobbles.

More to come.


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