ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A local family has finally secured the opportunity to spend the next 45 years struggling to pay off a hyper-inflated asset at record low interest rates.

Betoota Heights man David Rutger explained to our reporter today that after almost a decade of working almost non-stop, over-coming giant personal and professional hurdles, begging, borrowing and stealing, he and his partner Daphne finally got a deposit together.

“We actually had to use some of our super to get over the line with this last outrageous spike in property prices but guess what? We’re in. Daph and I no longer have the property FOMO. The yardstick by which this country measures success, property ownership, can now be applied to us without the stagnant humiliation of being 35 and renting,” he said.

“I’m just happy I can stop looking at houses now. We got Boomered at so many auctions. Investors, you know? One time, we almost got a house with a backyard but these grey-haired sharks came in at the last second and blew us out of the water. A few other blokes there were in the same boat as me. Honest to God, we were so wild. One bloke suggested we follow them home and beat them half to death in their driveway with a sock full of sand each but I had too much to lose,”

“Anyway, we paid $980 000 for this place. It’s 101 square meters. It’s north-facing, in a bit of a ditch. It doesn’t get much sun, the house is younger than my youngest who can’t even walk yet. It’s 90 minutes from town. The highway is only 2km as the crow flies but in the morning, it takes me 40 minutes to get there because there’s only one way in and one way out. But, it’s mine,”

“My heart goes out to the losers who rent in the city. I saying that, I’ll be right back there with them if we have one or two rate rises.”

More to come.

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