ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Reserve Bank of Australia has declared that the Government cannot hide from a net zero future today as state and territory governments around the country make plans without Federal guidance.

In response, Prime Minister Scott Morrison has told journalists that he has accepted the RBA’s challenge and looks forward to showing the country he can and will hide from it.

“Right now, my cabinet is looking for a dead cat,” he said.

“Once we have found the cat, we will throw it on the table and leave the room and all of you, the journalists, will be distracted by the dead cat and we, as a nation, can move on to the next hurdle we face coming out of lockdown,”

“Just what it is, I’m not sure. We might accidentally refer to China as West Taiwan or something. Give something Paul Barry to talk about on his pissy little show that isn’t about tabloid magazines or dunking on something that some deadshit Nationals backbencher said on Rockhampton radio in June,”

“As for the Reserve Bank, I think they should just focus on making life more affordable – and enjoyable, for young people without forcing Baby Boomer property investors to do their pale white arses. OK guys, I’m off to Canberra now. Talk to you later.”

The Advocate reached out to RBA Governor Phillip Lowe for comment but was told by one of his EA’s that he was busy watching videos of eye surgery on YouTube.

More to come.


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