ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local man touching down in Sydney this morning has had his first welcome to the Harbour City in the form of a mysterious $20 cab surcharge that appeared without warning or explanation.
Local livestock agent Shane Truscott (24) said he jumped into the back of a silver Camry at Kingsford Smith just after 8:30am, en route to a mate’s joint in Marrickville. They have plans to get fucked up tonight. By the time they got to Gardners Road, the fare jumped from $52.70 to $74.90, and the driver had “pushed at least three buttons” on the dashboard.
“He just started thumbing at this little screen like he was entering a cheat code,” said Truscott.
“Next thing I know, there’s a ‘toll’, a ‘booking fee’, and something called a ‘Sydney Airport Usage Levy. Which I swear is made up.”
The driver, operating under a laminated licence that very clearly featured a different bloke, offered little clarification, speaking in broken English while relying heavily on GPS for a straight run down a major arterial.
“He couldn’t even tell me which button added the extra twenty bucks,” said Truscott.
“He just kept saying ‘machine say so’. You know, I fucken hate this cunnavatown. Big blue fucked bin in the middle of it, who gives a fuck. Fucken charge you for breathing in this fucken place. Let me enjoy the weekend here and let me get the fuck outa this place. Chock full of cunts this city is.”
Transport NSW has confirmed that under Section 4 of the Confuse The Bushie Act (2012), taxi drivers are legally permitted to add unspecified fees so long as they look busy while doing it.
More to come.
