EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
As Cyclone Alfred barrels towards south east Queensland, surfers have made the logical decision to abandon the Gold Coast and rush to Brisbane’s new premier surfing destination – South Bank Beach.
The man-made lagoon, which is estimated to 20% chlorine and 80% toddler piss, has become the new hotspot for surfing as oceans become too dangerous.
Despite warnings from authorities that South Bank Beach is just a glorified swimming pool with zero wave potential, Goldie surfers have remained hopeful that the category 2 cyclone will offer them some much needed action.
“Last week there was a fucking torpedo on the beach, now there’s a cyclone”, says 25 year old Kyle Bennett, who took the Nerang line this morning, “so I guess this will do for now.”
“I’m telling ya, once that storm surge kicks in, we’re looking at three-footers, maybe even four if it the cyclone hits a category three.”
Authorities currently estimate that Brisbane can expect up to 600 ml of rain, which could potentially send gigalitres of South Bank piss into the Brisbane River, and turning it an even darker shade of brown.
More to come.
