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Microsoft-founder Bill Gates has joined Blokes Advice, a popular male-dominated internet forum where men can help each other navigate life, ahead of his landmark divorce from his wife of 27-years wife, Melinda.

The billionaire told The Advocate this afternoon local time that he joined Blokes Advice because he need support in what’s going to be a very challenging and bumpy period of life for him.

“Like a lot of these blokes have had to put up with all the shit blokes cop in the Family Court system and the Civil Courts, too, like how they’re fucken against like people like me, you know?” Gates said.

“And like these blokes in Blokes Advice have been through it, they’ve lived it, mate. So they know, they know how to help blokes like me deal with this shit for the first time and to be honest mate, it’s been fucken grouse having these guys here supporting me like they reckon getting the right judge [sic] on the day is key to everything so yeah like I’m just hoping and praying that I get the right one or else like I dunno what I’ll do, hey?”

“I’ve ordered one of them decals for my Tesla and like, like that’s my daily drive and I’ve got a few project cars that the missus used to blow up at me about but like fuck guess I don’t have to get rid of them anymore, hey? But yeah, knowing Melinda she’ll probably try take them from me in court because she can and the fucken judge will probably take her side blah blah blah but yeah, it’s been sick,”

“Clancy, your boss, is really active in Blokes Advice and he’s a top cunt so tell him Bill says suck a fat one, nah, like he knows I’m joking hey, he’s a mad cunt. Tell him I said hope he’s well.”

Mr Gates also explained he now harbours the intense desire to grow a goatee and start drinking Jim Beam & Cola cans with dinner.

“I might even get my ears pierced and grow the hair out. I don’t give a fuck, I don’t have a filter anymore. I tell it like it is.”

More to come.


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