ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A lost boy of London has lost his last excuse to stay there this month as the rabid south of the country begins to welcome Australians home from overseas without having to suffer in the indignity of hotel quarantine.

For the past two years, former French Quarter resident Martin Pooley’s social and professional life has been stagnant.

The 29-year-old still works at some sort of agency, he still has almost no British friends and prefers the company of not only Australians – but Queenslanders who he or his friends knew before they fled our so-called cultural backwater.

In those two years, he’s told his friends and family back here in Australia that he couldn’t possibly come home due to the cost and time associated with the experience. Despite his parents offering to loan him the money for a business class ticket, which wouldn’t be cancelled at the last minute, he still said no.

Speaking to The Advocate this morning via Skype, the man who used to have the biggest mouth in Betoota said he’s now quickly looking for another reason to stay.

“The weirdest thing about this whole article premise is that nobody can get their head around the fact that I just enjoy living here,” he said.

“I like the vibrance and the history. I like the way that the tube always smells like burning damp phonebooks. I like that I occasionally get mugged and when they see the crappy phone I have, they tell me to keep it. I like the pubs, I like being so close to Europe and America. Maybe I should try to get a job in New York?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I love Australia and I want to come home to see my family but yawn. I’d sooner take my clothes off and get in the fridge until I froze than move to the bohemian and cosmopolitan district of West End or Dulwich Hill. I’d honestly rather have an unnecessary double knee replacement than live in Melbourne, Adelaide or Perth,”

“Call me crazy but I just love living over here.”

More to come.


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