EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
Thin is in again, the Kardashians have reversed their BBL’s, and trad wives and ‘quiet luxury’ are on the rise. But what were the other more subtle signs that western society was marching towards fascism all this time? The Advocate takes a look at the six subtle signs a Trump win was imminent – and you WON’T believe number one!
6. Vampires Are Ugly Again
The more rights women won, the hotter vampires became. Why? Because vampires have always been a metaphor for repressed sexual desires and the loss of innocence, with the very act of a vampire bite involving penetration and the shedding of blood.
Though vampires in movies started off being depicted as uggo to stay true to the source material, they’ve become increasingly sexy over time, as the narrative moved away from old, ugly men preying on ingenues to old but youthful looking hotties…who also prey on young women but at least they have abs.
Now with the rise of Elon Musk and Donald Trump, vampires, the epitome of patriarchal tyrants, are forced to be ugly losers again.
5. The Decline Of Boy bands
The antithesis of vampires, boy bands gave societal permission for young straight girls and women to express their sexuality publicly and to project their fantasies onto non threatening, floppy haired heart throbs. Following the popularity of Elvis, boy bands started to spring up in the 60s, with Jackson 5 dominating the airwaves, and reached their peak in the 90s with NSYNC and Backstreet Boys, before making their final death rattle with One Direction in the 2010s.
Though boy bands are still dominating the music scene in places like Korea, there hasn’t been a carefully curated boyband in over a decade. So where is all this repressed sexual energy supposed to go now? That’s right, old men.
4. No More Colour
If you’ve stepped foot into Westfields for the past twelve months, you may have noticed every storefront is fifty shades of brown. To quote the great Vivienne Westwood ‘fashion is political’, and when you see a dictatorship of neutrals taking hold, it only means one thing – blend in, keep your head down and don’t disturb the status quo.
3. Cigarettes Are Back
Cigarettes are slowly but surely making their way back into the mainstream, as Gen Z looks to adopt every aesthetic of the early 2000s – including lung cancer, it seems.
Smoking cigarettes has long been tied to masculinity, so it makes sense that pushing back against ‘wokeness’ would include ditching blueberry flavoured vapes in favour of something that tastes like it’s bad for you. Watch out craft beer – you’re next.
2. Miley Cyrus Dying Her Hair Back To Brown
Miley Cyrus dying her hair back to brown was the canary in the coal mine for western society taking a sharp right turn. Debuting her bleach blonde hair during her Bangerz era in 2013 to distance herself from Hannah Montana, Miley would then go on to rock platinum locks for an entire decade. Interestingly, you can see a direct correlation between fascism infiltrating the US and Miley’s hair getting increasingly more brown. Now Miley is only sporting a single streak of blonde – or a dash of hope, if you will.
1. GLEN POWELL
After several years of skinny, unthreatening looking men dominating the ‘heart throb’ status, it should come as no surprise that the rise of Glen Powell directly coincides with the rise of fascism in western society. In fact, if you type in ‘the ideal Republican looking man’ into ChatGPT, several images that look exactly like Glen Powell will pop up.
The popularity of Top Gun 2, which also coincided with the declining star power of Timothee Chalamet, can be blamed for the paradigm shift, with the famous beach scene activating women like sleeper agents.
Glen Powell is clearly a psyop created by the far right.
