Witty Catholic Priest Wins Over Royal Commission With Hilarious Anecdotes

Witty Catholic Priest Wins Over Royal Commission With Hilarious Anecdotes

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

Irish-Australian Catholic Priest, Paddy O’Mutty has beguiled the entire Commission in to Institutional Responses To Child Sexual Abuse the investigation into abuse in the Catholic Church with his down to earth wit, rollicking stories, and lyrical accent.

O’Mutty, who has been charged with 49 counts of interfering with minors, and who has earned a reputation in the Catholic school system as a serial offender, has given the hearing an atmosphere of joviality that prior seemed only to exist in musical recounts of the Great Depression.

“This guy is irresistible,” said The Honourable Martin Mcguyer, who is overseeing the enquiry,

“I was prattling on about his decades of abuse and he just whipped out a banjolin and started this rousing ditty about tussling with the shepherd’s daughter in the bog… I was totally won over.”

“I can now fully understand why the church has aided and abetted this pedophile for the past thirty years,” said the Hon. Len Smith, one of the enquiries top investigators.

“Everything he says sounds like bird-song.”

Jon* – one of O’Mutty’s many victims who was present at the time – had this to say:

“He started telling this story about setting his corduroy britches on fire after mistakenly putting oil soaked tobacco in his rolled cigarettes at a county dance, and how he won over lots of ladies by doing a mock waltz with these burning trousers,”

“It was a great story. I totally forgot why I was at the hearing.”

Dr Giacomo Freya, the Archbishop of Melbourne and a senior church official told the ABC: “if only Pell was Irish. None of these bloody inquiries would be happening.”

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