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With the FIFA World Cup underway, it appears there is far less concern about the possibility of terror attacks on crowds of soccer fans in Moscow, mainly because most terrorist organisations are nowhere as scary as Russian soccer fans.

Russia declared the FIFA World Cup open in a ceremony full of music, dance and some cultural celebrations at the Lushniki Stadium in Moscow.

For some reason British pop star Robbie Williams was the star of the show last night, as he performed for close to a billion people around the world.

Right before kick-off, Russian President Vladimir Putin emerged to huge cheers from the Moscow crowd, declaring his hope that a love of soccer would unite the planet “as one team” – Mr Putin said: “In this unity, over which no powers reign, in which there are no differences of language, of ideology or of faith, lies the great power of football, and of all sport.”

That is, of course, ignoring the fact that over the next month thousands of people will have their heads bashed in over soccer rivalries, with the host nation home to the scariest hooligans of all.

Russian securities agencies say they have intercepted correspondence between terrorists advising each other to stay the fuck out of Russia over the next week, unless they want to have a credit card forced between their lips and then punched by a heavily tatted Russian street criminal.

It is believed that the concerns of terrorists targeting the event is not as considered in Moscow as they were at the Gold Coast Commonwealth Games earlier in the year, with radicalised extremists around the world no match for the pure aggression shown by the United Nations of Psychopathic Soccer Hooligans.

It is also believed that, hooligans aside, President Putin himself is enough to scare the fuck out of any terrorist groups that would be stupid enough to visit Moscow over the next month.

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