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As The British Royal Family continues to descend into one of those public tabloid meltdowns that we are treated to every quarter-century, those who remained on the fence are starting to pipe up.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have torn the lid off a culture of secrecy in an interview with Oprah Winfrey earlier this week – in which they aired allegations about racism within the royal family, disregard for their cries for help and mental illness – and how Prince Harry was cut off by his family for marrying a commoner.

48-hours since the bombshell interview aired, The Queen has finally broken her silence over the family tiff, which has been dominating headlines since.

Prince Harry’s grandmother says the allegations of racism were “concerning” and the issue would be handled by the royal family “privately” – just like how the issue of her favourite son’s allegations of child sex crimes were handled “privately” – meaning, nothing will be done about it.

In the statement, released by Buckingham Palace on behalf of the Queen, it is said “recollections may vary” about issues raised by the couple but she finds them “saddening”.

However, it is Prince Charles who has been most disappointed by the Oprah Winfrey interview – which has rated higher than Martin Bashir’s interview Lady Diana which was broadcast on BBC1 on 20 November 1995 back when everyone actually owned TVs.

As the next-in-line to the throne, Prince Charles cannot believe his own son would choose the woman he loves over the prestige and honour that comes with winning the Royal Family birth lottery and never having to work a day in his life.

“What a soft cock!” Prince Charles is reported to have told his brother Prince Andrew, who is an alleged pedophile.

“He’s seriously just going to go out on his own is he? What about daddy’s 100th birthday?”

According to The Betoota Advocate’s close Royal Family sources, Prince Charles is ‘bewildered’ by his son’s decision to support his wife in the face of targeted attacks from Buckingham Palace and the hysterical British press.

Furthermore, the King-in-waiting cannot understand his son’s decision to not actively undermine Meghan, like he did to Diana.

“This is where we, as men, cut them loose boy” said Charles.

“Mummy will remove her security detail and eventually she’ll get killed by the tabloids”

“Then you can just marry one of those girls from the polo”

“That’s what I did, and now I get to be KING OF ENGLAND!”

“Yay!”

MORE TO COME.

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