Pope takes to Twitter to announce Jesus prefers Light Ice

Pope takes to Twitter to announce Jesus prefers Light Ice

14 March, 2016. 10:12

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Pope Francis broke with Vatican protocol this morning to announce via Twitter that the Son of God, Jesus Christ of Nazareth (33), prefers drinking Fosters Light Ice after a long day of performing miricles – shooting down any hope South Australian brewer Coopers had that he might enjoy their light beer product.

Come just days after the company lent their name to a gay marriage debate between conservative MPs, a number of industry insiders have explained that Coopers ‘really shit the bed’ on this occasion.

The head of the Catholic church has joined in the boycott of Australia’s last major family-owned brewery, saying that by suggesting that Jesus might enjoy a cold Coopers Light is borderline blasphemy.

“.@JesusChrist69 has always been a Light Ice man. He also enjoys a Gitane Bleu if it’s been an especially trying day. Also, Adelaide is a dump,” tweeted the Pope.

“Any suggestion that he drinks Coopers is simply incorrect and you should be stoned like an Iranian adulterer for such heresy. Cheers, Pope.”

The Advocate reached out to the Bible Society for comment, but has yet to receive a reply.

More to come.

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